: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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