i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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