my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
