For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
