You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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