i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
