So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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