i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
