my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize