just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
