Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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