Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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