I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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