if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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