It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
