How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
