PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
