im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
