It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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