Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
