I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
