Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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