Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A bitchslap is in order.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
