once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
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Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I need to align my fucking chakras
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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