im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
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.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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