i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
