Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
