hotel room ftw
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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