It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
