i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
