should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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