So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize