Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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