Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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