dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
