I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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