His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
