You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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