Michael Bay diarrhea
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
