Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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