do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
