What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize