Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
