We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
