Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me

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(678): View more from Georgia

apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.

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(+90): View more from Turkey

Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.

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(949): View more from California

I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now

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(907): View more from Alaska

Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in

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