In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED