I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.