forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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