I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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