U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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