Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
