I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
