I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize