Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
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I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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