So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
