You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
