State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
