Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's blow job season.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
