We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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