Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
