is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
