I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How external is "for external use only"?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
