Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
